3x5 The Monks of St. Thomas Affair

I'm continuing to rewatch every episode of the Man from UNCLE series from start to finish. The monks of St. Thomas Affair is a good episode, with a plot that actually develops over the course of the story. This review contains lots of major spoilers.

The episode opens with Solo and Kuryakin on an emergency call-out to a scientist's home. When they arrive, it's dark and quiet. Instead of investigating like the stealthy and clever secret agents they are, they assume they have the wrong address and stand outside so long that the automatic sprinklers (which didn't exist then, apparently, because Illya Kuryakin assumes it's an invention of the scientist they are meant to be checking in on) activate and drench them. Foiled by a light sprinkle, the agents retreat from the front door. Suddenly THRUSH drive by, shoot at the UNCLE agents, and the house explodes. Cut to credits.

Aside from the heroes of the show retreating at the activation of sprinklers and generally not doing their job, this is in theory a good opener. The broad strokes are there: The agents arrive because a world famous scientist has reached out for help, they approach the front door as the sprinklers activate, and as soon as they go to open it the door is blown off its hinges. The agents are on fire, but thanks to the sprinklers they're able to dowse out the flames. And then their mortal enemies do a drive by, but they're no strangers to danger and fight back.

Aquatine

Well, the scientist is dead, case closed. Or at least, it would be if it weren't for the multiple shards of wine bottles found in his laboratory, and he was a teetotaler. This oddity jogs Mr. Waverly's memory about a monastery in the Swiss alps that had contacted him some months ago. He'd followed up, they didn't respond, and he put it out of mind. The monastery is the producer of a fine wine called Aquatine, and it's one of Waverly's favourites, so he tells Napoleon and Illya that it might be time to check in on the monks of St. Thomas.

Napoleon goes straight to the monastery, where he's sternly refused. One monk manages to slip him a bottle of Aquatine as a consolation, and Napoleon returns to his hotel. At his hotel, he meets Andrea (Celeste Yarnall), who is also in town to visit the monastery. Her uncle is Abbot Jean, and nobody's heard from him in months.

In the mean time, Illya Kuryakin sneaks around the airport, hot on the trail of the mugs who took a shot at him outside the scientist's house. It takes half the episode, but he discovers that their suitcases contain extremely large cathodes. He's caught, of course, but luckily it's purely for excitement and he actually manages to escape immediately.

At this point in the story, you're inevitably wondering what the heck Aquatine and cathodes have to do with one another. I have to admit it's as great a feeling as seeing Illya escape from the thugs and get away with useful information.

The bells of St. Thomas

The plot is actually simple, but I won't spoil anything further here. Of course eventually the UNCLE agents get captured, but they manage to escape just in time to stop THRUSH.

The who episode is cleverly structured around the "Frere Jacques" lyrics, with each act being titled for a line that actually does end up corresponding to a plot point. Why they called Abbot Jean and not Abbot Jacques is beyond me, though.

Good episode

The musical style of season 3 is upbeat and silly, and I hate it as a soundtrack to Man from UNCLE. It's not bad music, as such, it just lacks the mystery and anticipation of the first season. The intention is clear and, broadly, well documented: They had to compete with the [inexplicable] popularity of the Batman series. It's painful to hear, but I guess it doesn't effect the plot.

The story of this episode kept me guessing, and I think that's the right baseline formula for Man from UNCLE. Early episodes had some brilliant moments of normal people getting caught up in the frightening world of secret agents, and some really nice social commentary, but the common thread was that half the time you just didn't initially understand what UNCLE had to fight this time around. You knew there were baddies, but the motives were mysterious until the agents got close enough to understand. It's a good trick, and this episodes puts it to good use.