3x7 The Thor Affair

I'm rewatching every episode of the Man from UNCLE series from start to finish. The Thor Affair is such a bad episode that I found myself fast-forwarding through the fight scenes, and probably could have fast-forwarded through much of what claimed to be plot. This review contains lots of major spoilers, not that it matters.

In this episode, the UNCLE agents are tasked with keeping President Fazir Nahdi (played by Harry Davis) alive. Nahdi is a champion of world peace, and when we're introduced to him it's at the end of a 10-day hunger strike that stops the oppression of his nation. He's also allergic to cats.

Nahdi is set to attend a conference for world peace in a few days, so Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin must follow him around to protect him. Unfortunately, there's not really anything for them to do until the final scene of the episode. In fact, there's not much for anyone to do. There's some cursory conflict in an attempt to generate a story, but really this episode is 3 scenes:

• Establish that Nahdi is allergic to cats
• Meet the guest character Nellie Canford (played by Linda Foster)
• Prevent Nahdi from sneezing and blowing up the peace conference.

Yes, the villain's scheme is to lace Nahdi's handkerchief with moisture-activated nitroglycerin (or something) and then cause him to sneeze during his speech so that he uses the handkerchief kills everyone. Obviously the UNCLE agents can't find out about this in advance or it would be a very short episode, so Nellie Canford is introduced.

Nellie and her dental work

Nellie is a great guest character who just happened to be written into a bad episode. She's a relief teacher in Newport News, on holiday in Geneva. She's a respectable young woman, and has just gotten a full-time teaching position, so she's eager to get back home.

The way Nellie, and her peculiar ability that makes her the perfect recruit for UNCLE, is introduced is a masterclass in how to sell the unbelievable. After an afternoon of drinking with Napoleon and Illya, Nellie has just finally gotten a taxi to the airport. Midway through the journey, however, she sits bolt upright and orders the taxi back to the hotel. She's irrationally frantic about it, so much so that it actually put me off her character. I figured she was nuts, and wanted nothing more to get rid of her. The cabby follows orders, though, and rushes back to the hotel.

Cut to Napoleon and Illya in their hotel room, very nearly about to open a suitcase that's been rigged with a bomb meant to kill them both. Suddenly, Nellie bursts into their room, grabs the suitcase, and throws it out the window, at which point the suitcase obviously explodes. She bids them a second farewell and walks back out the door toward her taxi.

Baffled, Napoleon and Illya stop her and ask how she happened to know their suitcase was about to explode. She explains that she recently had dental work. They ask for more information. She says that when she's had enough rum, the new filling in her molar picks up radio broadcasts, and while she was in the cab she was listening to a ballgame until she accidentally intercepted some men talking about the suitcase. Simple as that.

Nellie becomes indispensable for the UNCLE agents, which isn't great for her (she has a teaching job to get back to) or the plot. Up until the last minute, the "plot" is Napoleon Solo demanding that Nellie drinks rum or eats rum cookies in hopes that she'll pick up a radio broadcast revealing the villain's plans. Of course, she doesn't until moments before Nahdi sneezes, at which point Napoleon launches into action. He leaps across the conference table, grabs the handkerchief, and the episode is mercifully over.

Bad music queues

The music queues in this episode are also bad. Every fight scene gets a swinging beat and loud brass because it's a fight scene so play anything loud and upbeat. Each establishing shot of a change in country gets what was surely written for the Scottish highlands. Lazy music coordination in this one.

Bad episode

I understand why this episode exists. You can imagine the pitch: A girl who listens in on radio broadcasts through her tooth is the key to saving the lives of the diplomats at a summit for world peace. Were I producing the show, I'd absolutely give the green light for that script. And there's probably still a really fun story in that idea, but apparently it's not a Man from UNCLE story.

I don't think Nellie Canford could have been easy to portray, either. She's prudish, distracted, a little weird, and frequently drunk during this episode. She's got some good lines, but there are several scenes where there's just not anything for her or the UNCLE agents to do. The actors worked with what they had, but couldn't save the episode.